Adios 2009!

2009 was a trying year, at least for me; the birth of my youngest daughter (after a gap of nearly 6 years) being one of the primary reasons. The demands on motherhood took me to a totally different paradigm - it was indeed trying and straining on me, mentally, emotionally & physically the most.

My eldest struggled with his school work without my coaching & encouragement. But the most affected, I think, is my second one. After 6 years of being the youngest, she was not ready to receive someone who, very obviously stole the limelight and attention from her. A bright & carefree student, never getting anything but 100% in all her subjects & the first in most competitions, the student with the most prizes during her last 3 years in the school, her marks suddenly dropped. Not only that, she started whimpering & complaining & becoming clingy to us, unlike her usual bold and independant self.

She once told that ever since the baby was born, her amma & appa doesn't love her anymore. I was slightly hurt and felt guilty hearing that. Have I not been giving each one of them enough attention? Have I been a bad mother? Or worse, have I totally neglected her?

I suppose all mothers do go thru this guilty pang when it comes to showing love & attention to their children. Sigh! It never seems to be enough.

The year also brought a lot of lessons, some painful and others enlightening. Some difficult to digest even now after months. No regrets, though, as I learnt never to judge a book by its cover, even how well you had read the book. Trust became a major issue for me. People do not seem to have respect for the word trust. Betrayal is more easily executed without any sense of fear, guilt or regret. Sometimes, I wonder whether I'm light years back trying to still uphold these virtues.

The one ray of happiness are my children. Oh!, How much joy I get just from seeing them, while sleeping, playing, eating their favorite food etc. Esp. the little one, she's such a joy! Always ever smiling, sweet one moment & cheeky the other. She seems to complete the whole family. Even as I write, I could hear her laughter, full of glee and youth! Everyone seems to just brighten up upon seeing her. Thank you, God for giving us this joy, we will always cherish this treasure.

2009 has changed me more than any of the other years. Though the year brought more heartaches than pleasant moments, I do no regret them for I believe I have become mature & strong by virtue of these trials & tribulations.

And I welcome 2010 with more zest and pray it beholds a better year with good health and lots of happiness for everyone.

the little cottage

last weekend back home at appa's house for deepavali was one of the most relaxing time that i've had in the last few years. time to reminiscence the good old carefree days, minus the kiddos. my youth suddenly came back to me - the feeling was indeed awesome to say the least.

memories of the last deepavali i spent with my childhood friends. remembered all of them coming to my house at the boh road house. we went to the taman opposite the road to house. sha, sarina, loges, geetha & nicholas. can't actually remember what we talked, probably something not so significant but the feeling of togetherness was great (at least for me). friendship is so beautiful..........

thinking of these sweet memories of yesteryears suddenly gave me this strong burst of energy within me; which as quick as it came evaporated immediately upon seeing my darling doduku crawling towards me, grinning away, with her little bouncy curls swaying here and there - aahhh, back to reality and diapers and milk bottles ad screaming at the kids.

wonder how many of my other friends are sharing the same emotion like me

as different as sun and moon

my two daughters are as different as the sun and moon.

one has straight hair and the other curly (Grand Aunt Ponni from seremban calls it 'ribbon hair'). the older sis has inherited the paternal grandfather's rather short nose and the younger one sharp (probably from her appa or my side). the elder one has eyes as round and as big as the moon while her sister's an exact replica of mine.

both however were bestowed with my long eye lashes.

it's such a joy seeing them growing. i can't help but compare one with the other (though sometimes, my memory does play tricks with me - can't recall whether it was the brother's or elder sister's antics the kutti takes after)

hope they grow up best buddies, though with the 6 year gap, it won't be easy....

how to use an oven

been searching for some info on how to use / read oven symbols and its functions. these are some good guides :

http://www.ukwhitegoods.co.uk/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=241
http://www.franke.co.uk/page.aspx?sp=380

some tips:

line at top - top element only
line at bottom - bottom element only
line at top and bottom - conventional oven ie top and bottom elements on
wavy line - grill element
pic of fan - fan only with no heat
pic of fan with a line as well - fan oven

when to use each element is a topic for another post....

till then,
aarthi

kitchen cabinet part 7

it was all completed 3 weeks ago. very happy with the workmanship - no time to snap the photos thoughs. probably will in the next few days.

kids and hubby are asking when i'm gonna do the opening ceremony of my new ariston oven. was supposed to yesterday with their favourite carrot walnut cake but as it turned out, we all went out shopping for the high stools (got them at carrefour at a fraction of the price of the one i was eyeing at furniture arts), came back just before 7 pm. so it was prepar dinner, wash clothes etc and no time for baking.

hope to bake it probably one of these days; maybe morning since no one is awake then.

choices

we all have choices. period.

we may not have choices at the time an event occurs but we definitely have a choice (or choices) at a later time when we are more in control of things.

this was what i read in the july edition of readers digest (article : priority one).

the moment when i read this, i felt someone just slapped me smack on the face. here, i am with so much of abundance (yes, i call it abundance), life has been so good to me and yet i feel that i've been short changed by many. whining, feeling sorry for myself etc etc.

the story of this courageus woman who boards a train like she does everyday to work, with hordes of other people, probably bored with the mundane morning routine, and who stands, unfortunately, next to a would-be suicide bomber (just that she doesn't know this fact obviously), gets her lower part of body blasted in the next few minutes after, who through her stubborn positive mind keeps herself afloat till help comes, who had a choice of getting through the weeks of healing and months of theraphy before she can walk down the aisle in her prosthetic legs for her wedding (which she didn't want to postpone just coz of the accident) or just lay down wallowing in pity, awakened me from the daze of feeling sorry for the poor little me.

she had a choice of feeling anger towards the bomber or to go on with life and appreciate every little nuance of it. she chose the latter.

so, here i am at this juncture of my life, probably halfway to the end. 3 beautiful, healthy children - god's gift of love to me and my loving caring darling husband (oh!, how much i love him!!), a safe country to stay, all the basic things for life, good opportunities (to those who choose to grab them, that is), what more does one want!

we have been pampered too much, me thinks, for otherwise we wouldn't be wishing we had more when we actually have enough.

so, aarthi will from now try her level best not to complain anymore. just take things as it comes and make the best of them!

kitchen cabinet part 6

friday is the final part of the KC installation i.e. the kitchen doors (together with the shoe rack). have to take leave. original installation date is saturday but had to vacate it since need to go down to kl on saturday. hope to drop by at ikea to grab some things